Jesus Loves Me!

Jeffin Joseph

Psalm 119: 9 – 12 How can young people keep their way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; do not let me stray from your commandments. I treasure your word in my heart, so that I may not sin against you. My life before I encountered Christ was filled with a worldly pleasure, ego, shyness, etc. Even though I was very involved in church, I was always doing it for myself or my parents and whatever I did was to impress myself or others. I also suffered with great shyness and a strong ego. I always knew God existed and that he was real because of how faithful my parents were to the church but seeing this never really touched me until senior year of high school. I fell out of a two-year relationship and was in this dark place with suicidal thoughts and a lack of self-worth. In my narrow mind I failed to realize that there was a Lord who loved me unconditionally and a family who always had my back. In my mind I kept thinking that I’ve sinned so much that not even God would love me but for some reason whenever I went to church, I found myself at peace. Soon after this break up the Anointing Fire Catholic Youth Ministry team showed up at our church for our annual retreat and I was one of those kids that sat at the very back. On the third day, Ainish aunty was telling us a story about appointing a king and out of all the kids pulled me to the front to represent a king and to my astonishment poured water all over my head. From that day I wondered why me? Was I a chosen one? Then a couple months down the line there was an Abhishekagni retreat in Las Vegas in which I was open to go to but didn’t really have a purpose as for why I wanted to go. This is where I had my first encounter with Christ. During adoration, which was one of the most powerful adoration I had ever been a part of, I received this immense tingling and shuttering sensation from head to toe followed by joy and happiness that I had never felt before. The emptiness that I had felt inside was no longer to be felt and for once I felt as if though I was loved again. On the final day of the retreat in front of hundreds of parents, youth, and Father Xavier khan Vattayil my shyness suddenly disappeared as I found myself dancing with joy to a song the choir team was singing to. I felt as if I was free from the chains that had been holding me back. Since then, I’ve had my fair shares of ups and down but meeting new friends in Christ through this ministry has helped keep my faith in check and be a witness to the fact that Jesus is ALIVE!